The Legend of Buttermilk Sky

What do you think of this?  (We'll come back to it in a moment.)

First I must mention that a couple of months ago, Buttermilk Sky had a birthday.  He really likes the Legend of Zelda (hence, the cake).

It just so happens that it was his 13th birthday.  Which means that he has now reached the rank of teenager. Which means that it is now time to reveal the LEGEND OF BUTTERMILK SKY (...LEGEND OF BUTTERMILK SKY...LEGEND OF BUTTERMILK SKY).

There once was a young child named Buttermilk Sky.  He was typically a happy boy, but he did have one strange habit.  He loved to twist his face into weird, sometimes funny, and sometimes disturbing expressions.  His parents told him that if he didn't stop, his face would stay that way forever.  Then one day, after making another one of his weird expressions, his face remained that way for 30 minutes, no matter how hard he tried to get it back to normal.

His parents said,  "See?  We told you so."  But Buttermilk Sky loved to twist his face into these goofy expressions so much, that he still continued to perform them daily, sometimes even hourly.  Then a few days later, after making a grotesque face, he was again unable to resume his normal expression and remained that way for nearly an hour.

At first this was a little disconcerting to Buttermilk Sky.  But then he thought, "How cool is this?"  And he continued making faces even more.

One day his mother found him in his room like this:

He remained this way for hours.

One day he showed up for school like this:

and stayed that way the entire day, causing the principle to suspend him for disorderly conduct.  Buttermilk Sky thought that was even more cool.  No school!

Thus began the trips to doctors, psychiatrists, and specialists of all kinds.

But Buttermilk Sky wasn't worried.  He was becoming who he felt he was meant to become.

Then one day, Buttermilk Sky walked into the kitchen looking like this:

He remained this way for the rest of his life, even growing some horns out of his head, and he soon became a very popular actor.  You may have seen him in a movie or two.

The End.

Happy Birthday Buttermilk!!